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There's no such thing as multi-tasking

2/28/2017

You know when you’re scrolling through Instagram, or checking your email, and your friend or your colleague starts talking to you? And you think you can listen to them and finish what you’re doing at the same time? Yeah, you can’t.

Ultimately, it’s more efficient to pause what we’re doing to listen to someone else, or tell that person to wait a second, than to try and do all things at once. Multi-tasking is not efficient. Multi-tasking leads to miscommunication, which requires follow-up and cleaning up. Just pause and do one thing at a time – you’ll be glad you did.

Being present with other people isn’t just an efficiency hack – though it is that – it’s also about creating a sense of trust. Think about talking with someone who makes eye contact, nods, and gives you’re their full attention versus talking with someone who is texting, checking their email, or doing something else while you talk. Which makes you feel more valued? Which one do you do more often?

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Taking a stand

2/17/2017

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It is so easy to laugh at ideas or words or people, easy to poke holes in theories or stories that already exist. We are all very capable of this. It is much harder to create something new, to take a stand and say “I believe in this” or “I made this.” It’s vulnerable to stand up for something. It’s vulnerable to care about things. It’s much easier to cynically care for nothing. But it’s also very lonely to care for nothing. What is your life built upon if you aren’t passionate about anything? We try so hard to protect ourselves from hurt that we isolate ourselves.

I challenge you to care about something today

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Experiences over Stuff

2/14/2017

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Today is, as I’m sure you know, Valentine’s Day. Though I love my husband deeply, we will not be exchanging chocolate, teddy bears, or gifts of any kind. It’s because we aren’t teenagers. Also, it’s because we both value experiences over stuff.

Apparently we are not alone – it’s very Millennial of us to prioritize doing things over having things.

I have worked my fair share of retail and service jobs, and the most effective sales associates, board room presenters, waiters, bartenders, and box office associates were the ones who could create an experience for their client or customer. It’s not about the thing, it’s about how we experience the thing. It’s about the memories and the feelings associated with the thing, whether the thing is a shirt, a performance, an idea, a haircut, a box of chocolates. The thing is never the thing; the experience of the thing is the thing.

My appreciation of experience is also tied to my love for theater-making. Theater is the ultimate experience, it’s a communal act of imagination, a journey we all take together.

Happy Valentine’s from this Millennial storytelling experience junkie.

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You are not your work.

2/10/2017

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You can write a terrible play, you can make a terrible presentation, you can have a stupid idea, and it does not mean you are a terrible, stupid person.

I know this seems basic, but we all struggle to remember it.

Unfortunately, the opposite is also true: you can create something innovative and amazing, you can win all the awards in the land, and it doesn’t mean you are a good person.

Luckily, our worth is independent from our work.

Just be yourself and do your best. (Two of the hardest things on earth, I know.) You are enough.

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Ruining the magic

2/7/2017

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I was in a play once with a set that was suspended from above. It gave an airy, transitional feel to the space, to have door frames and window sills floating in mid-air like that.

The problem is if you bumped the door frame as you walked through it, or even just walked a little too fast and created a breeze, the frame would swing. And swing. And swing. Like one of those perpetual motion desk tchotchkes.

And guess what. When the door frame is swinging like that, no one cares that the Nazis are coming. They’re too busy watching the door frame swing to hear your beautiful, heart-wrenching monologue.

Our director pulled us all aside one night before a show and said “If you bump the door frame, just reach out and stop it from swinging. Yes, it will take the audience out of the play for a moment. It’s OK to ruin the magic for a few seconds if it means preserving the magic for the rest of the evening.”

I have since learned that this is excellent advice when you knock over a microphone during a panel discussion, spill water on yourself during a training, or accidentally turn off the projector instead of advancing to the next slide. It’s best to stop, acknowledge that you ruined the magic, and then get the magic back as best you can. People usually laugh and appreciate your candor. No one wants to pretend they don’t see that doorframe swinging. Magic only works if you all agree, together, to imagine new possibilities.

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Perfectionism

2/3/2017

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I find myself at a point in my life where I am learning a lot of new skills at once. Some of these skills will be used to support myself financially, so the stakes are real. I am a fast learner, and I enjoy expanding my knowledge base, so in theory this should be a rich time of my life… but the actuality is that I am stressed out and overwhelmed.

I hate not being perfect at something. Even something I’ve never done before. (Yes, I realize that’s ridiculous.) Something in my brain scolds me for making mistakes, tells me I’m not smart or capable, tells me I should walk away now before I embarrass myself.

Sometimes it’s interesting to try and trace this inner critic back to a specific person or circumstance (if you have ever done The Artist’s Way, you will know that this exercise can take pages and pages), but what I’ve been focusing on lately is how to mute the voice long enough to become competent at whatever I’m learning. Sometimes that’s hours, sometimes months.

Lately I’ve found that the most effective way of muting this inner critic who thinks I should magically be good at everything on the first try, is just to say “OK, thank you!” and move on. The way you would thank an annoying but well-meaning co-worker who gives you bad advice. Acknowledge the advice, then ignore it and keep doing things your own way.

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Right here, right now

2/1/2017

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It has been a tough January, friends. The Unites States is no longer a full Democracy, and I hate how fearful I am. I am doing a fun little circuit between terror, rage, and sadness.

When I pause to take a breath, I find myself energized in a new way by my creative work. I am writing two plays and incubating an idea for a third. I am thinking more about what I have to offer this world, and it comes down to empathy and telling stories that need to be told. I’ve been on a tear of applying for grants and residencies, and I feel my applications are stronger than they’ve ever been – this was validated by some encouraging feedback I got on a grant application that was rejected. (Always ask for feedback!)

But I feel guilty for being so excited about my creative endeavors. We live in a world that tells us that creativity is superfluous, it’s the icing and not the substance. It feels like my excitement about my work is taking me away from my focus on fighting fascism, on standing up for what’s right. What a privilege, to not be fighting for my life every moment, to be able to make up stories.

But creativity is as necessary to human existence as anything else. It is through the arts that we get in touch with our humanity, our very essence. I remind myself that my contribution to society is through engaging the imagination and curiosity of my audiences. If I can create space for telling stories and imagining new realities, then I’m creating the possibility for those realities to come to life off the stage, too.

Don’t worry, I’m also calling my senators.

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There's no such thing as multi-tasking

Taking a stand

Experiences over Stuff

You are not your work.

Ruining the magic

Perfectionism

Right here, right now

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